06-09-2014: Camp counselor realizing her own mortality while introducing the next activity


"We’re all going to dye."

06-08-2014: Sleeping with a celebrity


I slept with a celebrity. Unfortunately, I was six years old and it was Gary Glitter.


"I only have money for one, so Fritos or Bugles?"

Greg considered his two options with the intensity of an action movie character deciding which wire will deactivate the bomb.

"OK, um… like, Fritos taste better, but they’re not very comfortable and the salt gets all over me. But Bugles, now, I can wear like a hat."

"And I can do witch fingers. OK, done."

With Greg perched on my shoulder, we walked towards the counter from the back of the store. He noticed me notice a bag of gummy worms.

"Hey, um, you can get those instead… if you want. I know you like them."

"Are you sure, bub? I thought it might be weird after last time."

"Nah, it’s fine. Go for it, man."

I bought a bag of gummy worms a couple weeks ago. I had left the bag open on the ottoman in the living room, and when I remembered them later, I grabbed the package and shortly after, I found Greg in the bag, wrapped around a few of them and moaning. I… we haven’t talked about it.

04-24-2014: I boarded up the house


I boarded up the house and these nails are hard to get out. Shouldn’t have done that. She would look nice on the chair, the one facing the fireplace, but she’d look out the window. There’s a lot outside, but I’d rather the interior be seen. Air decorates the walls. The bed is a twin. The counters are clean, barely used! The place is in great shape, is available for immediate occupancy and the price is only a few shared seconds.


My sister is working on her high school salutatorian address and asked me to edit her speech and to give her some advice. Here’s some of what I wrote to her:

Everything isn’t a big deal. Relax. Some things matter, others don’t. Don’t let unimportant things matter and you can use the time you would have spent worrying about them productively.

Success is contentment, but contentment often doesn’t come from the modern definition of success. Wealth in spirit, faith, friendship, love, adventure and new experiences makes monetary wealth seem trivial. Don’t judge yourself until you know what success means to you.

It’s nice to look back at the past, but nostalgia is a trap. It makes you believe that the best is behind you. Memories age too well in your head, which forces you into believing it’s impossible to have experiences better than the ones you’ve already had. Childhood seems too good to be true because it is. At least, the childhood you remember is. Nostalgia is a rose-colored lens that masks the imperfections of your glory days. Use that same lens to look forward and realize that while it’s possible your best is behind you, it also might not have happened yet.

Happiness comes from giving thanks, not receiving it. Tell a loved one how much they mean to you in detail and you will both radiate joy. Gratitude isn’t meant to be self-serving, but it can be. Love works the same way. Don’t love because you want to be happy. Love is real when you value their happiness over your own. Love is real when it’s no problem that their problems are your problems.